Define Family
by StoriesOfANobody
Summary: Whether it's Ellie teasing Joel about his old age or Tommy playing the submissive husband, there's always a word to describe it. A Word-a-Day drabble project.
1. Chapter 1

Lampoon: to make fun of or mock. 

Joel rubbed his neck. He reminded himself to never sleep in an upright car chair again. His age was catching up to him and it did not feel good.

"Joel? You okay?" Ellie asked. They were nearing Jackson, where Tommy would be waiting for them. The car they "borrowed" ran out of gas. While Joel really didn't like Ellie leaving the safety of a moving vehicle, he knew there was no way she would stay behind.

"Fine. Just feeling my age is all," Joel replied, rummaging through a dresser.

"What age would that be, 75?" Ellie snickered good-naturally. He rolled his eyes.

"You are way off."

"Too low? How about 80?"

"I'm forty-seven, thank you very much," Joel grumbled and went to the next room. She followed after him, still grinning.

"Pfft, right," Ellie scoffed. Joel glanced at her and smirked.

"How old you say you were? Ten?" Ellie glared.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Sorry, I know I suck. In my defense the internet has been on the fritz. We just switched and there was some kind of technical mishap. Big unneeded hassle really. But since you guys have been so good, (not really, I've got more scars than reviews right now,) I'll update more than once today. /Here's where the story starts/

Uxorious: excessively devoted or submissive to ones wife.

"Tommy, the guys up in engine room eight need some help," Maria said. Joel glanced across the poker table at his brother. Tommy smiled sheepishly. He pulled his radio from his belt.

"Be right there," Tommy replied, then turned to his fellow card players."Sorry, boys."

They all groaned in protest.

"Come on, it was just getting good!"

"We've been waiting for this all month."

"Yea, Tommy. Can't ya stay just this once?"

Tommy shook his hand as he folded his cards. "The wife calls, I answer."

"Maria's got you whipped, little brother," Joel chuckled.

Tommy smirked. "You just remember she's teaching that little girl of yours everything she knows."


	3. Chapter 3

Nirvana: a state of bliss, state of perfect calm or peace.

Ellie was sick. Not just an average cold, but the flu. Thankfully the reformed town of Jackson had a doctor.

"Joel, don't feel good," Ellie sniffled as they sat in the tiny waiting room. He squeezed her hand.

"I know, baby girl. Just hang in there."

"Next!" The doctor called from another room. Joel stood up, pulling Ellie along with him.

"It's the flu, Doc," Joel said. Doc waved his hands.

"Hold on, who's the doctor here? Me. So I know what's wrong with you, not you," the man told Joel.

"I'm not sick, she is." Ellie sneezed to prove his claim.

"Oh," Doc muttered. Clearly this was not a good doctor.

"Right then, painkiller for the fever and plenty of bed rest. She should be right as rain in a few days." Joel watched warily as Doc took a handful of pills and handed them to Ellie. She swallowed them without thinking twice.

That evening, they were home and Joel was talking with Tommy.

"All I'm sayin' is your doctor ain't as good as he thinks he is," Joel stated.

"He has a medical degree," Tommy pointed out. Joel opened his mouth to argue when suddenly there was a noise.

"Joel, there's giraffes my room!" Ellie yelled happily. Tommy stared at the stairs.

"Is that code for something?" He asked. Joel was already halfway to the second floor, so Tommy followed him. They reached Ellie's room and heard giggling. Throwing open the door, the brothers spotted Ellie leaning out the window to pet the air.

"Ellie!" Joel yelled, lunging to pull her back in before she fell. Loopy, she tilted her head back to see Joel.

"Oh hi," Ellie grinned, then faltered slightly. "Hey, did you know you have a pink beard?"

Tommy shook his head and laughed.

"What the hell are you laughing at?" Joel snapped, desperately trying to think of what could be wrong with his baby girl.

"I've seen this before. She had a bit too many painkillers. She'll be fine after a while, but right now Ellie's making as much since as teen pop song." Ellie looked up at him.

"I'm not Ellie. I'm Phil!" She threw her hands in the air and fell back on the bed. Joel sighed. Well, at least she wasn't in pain anymore.

* * *

A/N: AGH WHAT HAPPENED IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THAT LONG AND HOW DOES THAT EVEN RELATE TO THE WORD?! *sigh* The Last of Us feels are really quite bothersome. By the way, I highly recommend you read Aftermath fanfic series. It'll rip at your heart strings, but holy smokes, it's good.


	4. Chapter 4

Bacchanal: an occasion of wild and drunk revelry. 

Never had a better party been held than the one in Jackson Wyoming on New Year's Eve. It was big, it was warm, and there was liquor. By far the best party in years. It might have helped that Tommy convinced Ellie to do stand up comedy.

"I used to be addicted to soap...but I'm clean now." The (slightly drunken) crowd roared with laughter. Except Joel, who had heard all of the jokes at least a dozen times. He just smirked at Ellie's ridiculous grin and stirred his drink absently.

"She's a regular comedian, you know. Glad I thought of it." Tommy pulled up a chair, gesturing to the makeshift stage. Joel raised an eyebrow."This was your idea?"

"Yea, unless I'm in trouble, then I have no idea what you're talking about." Laughing, Joel shook his head. "You shoulda seen her before she got up there. Poor kid was shaking in fear."

"Stage fright?" Tommy said, glancing up at Ellie. She seemed perfectly calm. "She hides it well."

"Mmm, that might be my fault," Joel mumbled, scratching his beard.

"You teaching her that stuff, big brother? Maria's gonna be pissed," Tommy grinned. The old man shrugged. "You try and stop her. I cannot make her to do anything. She thinks she's grown up enough to know everything."

"I remember someone else like that," Tommy commented wistfully. "Yeah. They'd be thick as thieves," Joel chuckled weakly. Tommy smiled up at the ceiling.

"I imagine they get their way a lot, too."

"And I would never get a minute of peace."

Tommy listened to Ellie's next joke as he rubbed his head. "How do you get holy water? You boil the hell out of it." The crowd chuckled a bit, most groaning at the utter stupidness.

"Oh, and we'd all die of bad jokes."

"Yep."

They went on, drinking and discussing the shared traits between the two girls. When she ran out of horrible puns, Ellie slid into the seat next to Joel.

"Never again, Tommy," she said, leaning against her father figure exhaustedly.

"I thought you were good," the younger brother claimed.

"It was fucking scary up there, you asshole," she turned to Joel. "Why didn't you warn me?"

"I have no idea what you're talkin' about," He said, failing to suppress a grin. Ellie crossed her arms.

A/N: That other girl was Sarah by the way. :D

Okay, all of this story has been on my phone so far, so I have no idea how it looks to you people on laptops. My apologies if it looks like an eight year old typed it.

**SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR AFTERMATH AHEAD! **Remember the last chapter when I was all like, "Hey everybody read the Aftermath series!"? Yea...To all those who just read the newest chapter, kitten therapy does not help. Tissue?


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I gotta say, this is probably my favorite one so far.

* * *

Rue: to bitterly regret something. 

Looking back, maybe kicking that annoying boy in the nuts wasn't a good idea. It was fun sure, but now that Ellie lived in Jackson, the reformed town that took no shit, she had to pay the price for getting into fights. Which was why she was sitting in jail at the moment. Who knew that boy was the sheriff's nephew?

Ellie sighed for what must have been the twentieth time. This wasn't her first time in solitary confinement for doing something wrong, but it was the most boring. The cell was completely bare except for a clock that didn't tick.

It eerily reminded her of another cold cell, but she forced herself to remember that this was not there, this was not then, and _he_ was dead.

She waited for Joel, Tommy, or Maria to come rescue her from the clutches of the evil sheriff, who clearly knew nothing about revenge or justice and would regret putting her in here without a sufficient source of entertainment. It had been hours since they stuck her in here. No one came to check on her, no one came to rescue her. Yet.

Ellie pondered the possibility that they might've forgotten about their prisoner. She went to sigh again, when someone started shouting from the other room. Grinning, Ellie realized her savior was here.

"I don't care who you are, you can't just put her in there!" Joel growl/shouted. That douche of a sheriff was gonna get it, Ellie thought happily.

The door connecting the front room to the room where the prisoners where held, flew open. Joel stormed in.

"Joel! Over here," Ellie yelled, grasping the bars in excitement. He didn't look too happy, but at least it wasn't directed at her.

It took Joel a minute to find the right key. As soon as he had the correct one, the door opened in a similar manner as the other. Ellie rushed forward to embrace her adopted father.

"You took way too long," she said into his chest.

"We had to find you first, kiddo," he replied and gave her an extra squeeze. She broke the hug to stare at him curiously.

"We? Who else is there?"

"Tommy and Maria came along, too." Well, what do you know? Ellie had hoped for one of them and she got all three. Pretty cool, if she did say so herself.

They walked to the front room, where Tommy was giving the deputy and sheriff the stink eye, and Maria was standing next to a guilty looking blonde boy. Ellie recognized the jerk as the one who she attacked.

"Why's he here?" She whispered to Joel.

"Led us to you," the old man grunted.

"Oh. Well, thanks for not being an asshole again, dude," Ellie told the boy awkwardly. He nodded sheepishly and ducked his head.

"Let's go," Joel ordered, halfway to the door.

"Sure, just give me a second." She turned her attention to the sheriff and promptly punched him in the gut. The evil sheriff guy doubled over in pain.

Smiling triumphantly, Ellie followed Joel home.


	6. Chapter 6

Snafu: a mistake or blunder

Ok, the first thing you need to known is I didn't steal anything. Except from Bill, but that's irrelevant. I did not steal from Walmart.

Yet I ended up in the squad car.

Yes, I was doing some mild vandalism, but is drawing mustaches on ketchup bottles really that incriminating? The world we live in these days...

"Our little thief here-"

"Not a thief!" I yelled to the cop. He rolled his eyes.

"That's what they all say, brat," he replied. I growled under my breathe. Someone days I wish slapping a cop wasn't illegal. And I wish that I wasn't in handcuffs but that's less often than the other.

"Anyway, the brat's gotta record, and she was in the area of where we lost the crook," the officer told the younger cop. The record part was for stealing from Bill, ditching class, and getting caught in a employ only area. Typical teenager stuff.

"So? She doesn't have the stolen jewelry on her, does she?" The younger cop said.

"Thank you!" I shouted to Nice Cop.

Bad Cop glared.

"Plus the thief had brown hair, not red," Nice Cop added. Bad Cop sputtered indignantly.

"It's easy to mistake the color! The thief was wearing a ball cap!"

Nice Cop glanced at me. "Miss, do you have on a hat?"

Oh, I like this guy. "No, officer, I don't."

"See? Maybe she was drawing on some condiments but that's not theft. You got the wrong person, Harriet," Nice Cop said.

"Harriet?" I snickered. Harriet scowled at both of us. He threw the keys to my handcuffs at Nice Cop and stomped off. Nice Cop smiled as he opened the cab door.

"Thanks for clearing me," I said, handing him the unlocked handcuffs. He stared at them confusedly.

"You got free?"

"Uh...I have experience with handcuffs." Nice Cop ran his fingers through his brown hair. I could tell he was still confused.

"So Harriet wasn't lying about your record?" He asked, putting the cuffs in his belt.

"Eh, mostly petty stuff. You know, skipping class, going where I'm not supposed to go," I replied, leaning casually on the car.

"Yea, my buddies in high school were like that," Nice Cop chuckled. "I still gotta fine you for vandalism, kid."

"Hey, I'm almost sixteen! And it was worth it." He laughed as he pulled out his notebook.

"What in the- Ellie! I sent you to get eggs and you end up arrested?"

Wincing, I turned to face Joel. He had his arms crossed and that look on his face that said I wasn't going playing many video games that month. Sarah stood behind him, rolling her eyes at me. She wouldn't have a partner to play Zombie Killer 4 with.

"Dad-"

"Don't you "Dad" me. This is the second time this month," Joel scolded. He sounded like a mother when he got like this. Sarah was silently giggling behind him.

"Joel, hear me out! I'm not getting arrested," I defended.

"It's true, sir. It was a mistaken identity," Nice Cop said. Joel looked from him to me.

"And who're you?"

"Officer Talon," Nice Cop responded. Talon; now that's a cool name.

Joel grunted in grudging agreement. "Fine."

I mentally cheered for Talon. That's twice he'd gotten me out of a tight spot today. Police officers have very useful authority.

The radio in the squad car babbled off a bunch of nonsense and Talon leaned in the window to answer. When he was done, he smiled sadly.

"Duty calls. No offense, miss, but I hope not to see you again anytime soon," Talon said. I grinned up at him.

"Thank you, sir," I told him. Sarah bobbed her head.

"Yea, I don't think Dad would bail her out again after the last time."

I elbowed her, blushing as Talon laughed. We saluted and he drove away.

Joel started towards the automated doors. Sarah exchanged a look with me.

"Um...where're you going?" I asked. Joel glanced back and gave us a "duh" look.

"We still gotta get eggs."

I shot up in my sleeping bag. Rubbing my eyes, I yawned. What a weird dream...

* * *

A/N: Haha, Joel sounds like a mom.

Not reviewing means you love David! So...review. Cuz obviously no one loves David.


	7. Chapter 7

I paced around the chairs twice, sat down, counted to twenty, stood back up, and paced again. Sarah was bouncing her knee while she stared at the overhead television playing the news.

"Ellie, sit down," Tess said gently. She was rubbing Sarah's back comfortingly.

"Can't," I mumbled, walking past the chairs for the third time. Tess grabbed my shoulder.

"Listen to me. Joel and Tommy are going to be fine."

I stared at her. The brothers were on a plane, flying right past a bad storm, with nowhere to land. I supposed Tess, Sarah, and Maria looked on the hopeful side. I was hoping for the best but expecting the worst.

Rubbing my arms, I shook my head.

"We hope they're alright. Tess, they could be-"

"Don't say it," Sarah interrupted, looking sick. Maria looked equally ill, but she had nothing to say.

"Sit," Tess commanded. Finally relenting, I sat down beside my almost sister and grabbed her shaking hand. My stomach was twisting into knots and my throat was tight. Tears threatened to fall. I looked at Sarah, who had silent tears sliding down her cheeks.

"I don't wanna lose Dad," She whispered to me. Gritting my teeth in order to not cry, I offered a weak smile.

"Do you really think Joel would leave us in a plane crash? If anything he'd go down fighting ten bears with nothing but a toothpick and a rubber band," I said. Sarah grinned slightly.

"Thanks for trying to cheer me up, Els."

"Does that mean it worked?" I asked. She shook her head slowly. I frowned again, dropping back into a funk.

"You girls want anything to eat?" Maria spoke. Tess held up a plastic bowl of noodles.

"No," Sarah and I answered simultaneously. We both were too worried to care about a silly little thing such as eating. I felt Sarah squeeze my hand.

"Look." I glanced at the bay window that showed the runway. A plane was just touching down.

"Is it them?" I said, looking up at Tess. She watched the aircraft hopefully.

"I don't know, kiddo." Her emotions were carefully hidden (probably something Joel taught her) to spare Sarah and I any extra worry, but for a second, her mask fell. I saw fear, worry, hope, and love. You'd never guess Tess had a soft heart unless you were either a genius or you had hung around her for a while.

Sarah was stock still beside me as the plane docked. My lungs ached and I realized I had been holding my breath. Another few torturous minutes, and the plane began unloading. Passenger after passenger emerged until the stream of people began to slow.

"I don't see them," Maria frowned. Sarah dropped her head, but I wasn't giving up so easily. Finally, the last two passengers stepped out.

"What?" Sarah said as I excitedly tapped her arm. I pointed to the men searching the crowd.

And the next second I was being dragged toward Tommy and Joel because Sarah had forgotten to let go of my hand. Joel grinned widely. Tommy greeted us with a hug, but you could tell he was paying more attention to the women that trailed behind us. Joel pulled Sarah and I into a bear hug.

"Dad!" we both yelled as he crushed our ribs.

"Hey, baby girls."

Then Joel was yanked up by his collar. I turned to see Tess and him kissing like there was no tomorrow. It was kind of funny because Joel looked completely caught off guard.

"Ah, gross," I whispered. Sarah giggled.

"You girls don't need to see that," Tommy chuckled and covered our eyes.

"Hey, I'm sixteen!" I argued, prying the hand away.

"Yea, and I'm fourteen!" Sarah said.

"Hello, Sixteen and Fourteen, I'm Tommy," He replied, laughing. Sarah and I exchanged looks, rolling our eyes.

Maria had finally weaved through the crowd. She hugged Tommy and muttered, "You are never going on another plane ride again."

"Yes, ma'am," Tommy responded.

By then, Joel had been released. He looked dazed but happy.

"Never do that again, cowboy," Tess said, poking him in the chest. He nodded diligently.

* * *

**A/N:** Kind of an abrupt ending, but I couldn't think of anything else. I purposely left questions unanswered in this one, so use your imagination.

Slightly-lovesick Joel and big-sister Ellie are fun to write. :D

Next one will be in the regular universe again, unless I get comments saying different.

Likes, Follows, and Reviews are much appreciated. For those of you who haven't been doing the previously mentioned, I see how it is. It's just a review. It takes like five seconds.

Also, (_AND DON'T STEAL THIS IDEA OR I WILL FIND YOU_) I'm thinking of writing a story were Ellie and Sarah switch places, and Ellie is Joel's daughter that dies in the beginning and Sarah is the one who has to deal with an almost-coldblooded-killer and anti-social Joel while she slowly starts to see him as a father. It should follow the original plot pretty closely, but with a few exceptions. Please advise.


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